


Dancing on my Own

by Keeksykeeksx



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26087005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keeksykeeksx/pseuds/Keeksykeeksx
Summary: There is that curiosity I find in what would happen if the biggest secret I hold was exposed. The one truth I hold closest to my heart. The truth that I am in love with my best friend.Jaskier is love with his best friend. Geralt Rivia. They've been close since they were seven years old when Jaskier had all but forced the quiet boy to be friends with him. Priscilla, his sister had always been convinced that the pair would end up together, but Jaskier wouldn't even let himself admit it to himself let alone tell Geralt.Then the senior year school trip happened.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 15
Kudos: 44





	1. One

_There are many truths that could be said about the world, many remain wrapped in secrets. I like to consider myself a fan of both elements. Truths come nature, music and art but sometimes they are not easily discovered. Often I consider whether that makes them better, adds to the mystery. But there is that curiosity I find..._  
  


Jaskier paused his typing - the anonymous blog he kept for his writing was a secret. He figured if someone tried hard enough they would be able to figure out.  
Dandelion wasn't that much of a leap from Jaskier. But it maintained some degree of secrecy and meant he could just say whatever he wished.  
  
  
Fingers met the keyboard again.

  
  
_There is that curiosity I find...in what would happen if the biggest secret I hold was exposed. The one truth I hold close to my heart. The truth that I -_

Another pause. Even typing it, to see the words form on the page from his own hand. Could he do it? That would mean it to be real. Jaskier was being foolish he was sure. No one knew of the pseudonym or even the blog itself.

The only person who knew about it was his twin sister Priscilla; she'd walked in on him working on it one day and impishly pestered until he showed her but not before swearing her to secrecy.

_The truth that I am in love with my best friend._

Jaskier stared at the final sentence, cursor hovering over the publish for a moment too long. He had shared a lot of things on here but none seemed to come close to this. He took a deep breath and finally put pressure on his mouse releasing his words into the world and quickly shut the lid of his laptop with a sharp exhale, it had created both a freeing and a restrictive feeling at the same time.  
  


How he felt was out there - freeing, relief after keeping it in for all these years.  
  


The thought of Geralt finding out and inevitably running away. - Restrictive, anxiety filled.  
  


But he wasn't about to go back on it now. Or should he? Gods he should delete it, or at least remove the last line. Change it to something else like he was secretly in love with...something else.  
  


Something that couldn't potentially ruin one of the best things in his life.  
  


His white wolf. Often quiet and solitary but tolerant to him. Geralt had always been a loner, but when he started at Jaskier's school in the middle of the year. He had taken it upon himself as a mission to become Geralt's friend.  
  


It was a week before he got more than a single word out of him.

Four, before he even saw him smile.

Six wonderful weeks was all it took to hear him laugh.  
  


It had been clear even to a seven year old that Geralt hadn't a good time of it.

  
His mother surrendered him to the care system and no homes ever seemed to stick with him. No one wanted a damaged kid that they had to fix. Many people wanted babies, blank slates.  
But Geralt was seven, nearly eight years old and definitely didn't possess any of the cute charm that caused children to be snapped up.

Jaskier had never been bothered by the others quiet, it worked nicely given the fact he rarely shut up.

They were inseparable, still were all these years later. He had worried that Geralt would be worried about what others would think when he came out and he still maintained a close friendship with him. Geralt was definitely straight but teenagers were quick to assume and tease. But Geralt didn't seem to care, he still stayed over in Jaskier's room - in Jaskier's bed no less just as they did when they were kids. That had become more and more difficult as the pining grew. As the acceptance that how he felt towards Geralt was and always had been more than just a friendship.

"I knew it!" A sudden voice sang out as his door flung open. His sister, like him never seemed to be one for boundaries.

"Pris! Knock? I could have -" The blonde girl who had burst into the room rolled her eyes then rapped her knuckles redundantly on the open door.

"I knew it!" She repeated as she did so then sat herself by Jaskier on the bed.  
"You and Rivia! I knew you were going to end up together one day. It was obvious. You two -"

Jaskier shook his head emphatically. "No! It's not like that."

"Pssh yeah right. Maybe he should -"

"Priscilla, cut it out okay? Geralt doesn't see me that way." Jaskier pleaded, he didn't want to entertain the thought if he could help it. Well other in the dreams he had. He didn't want to lose him. Scare him away.

"Please you've got that rom-com friends to lovers air all around you both. Like something straight out of a Netflix original." Jaskier gave her a little shove at that. "Oh I'd hope a love story of mine would hold a bit more depth than some of that drivel!" He pouted, it wouldn't be one of him and Geralt but maybe one day the ache would go away and he could love someone who would love him back.

Jaskier had dated, quite successfully. But something always got in the way. Someone. Lovely, beautiful boys and girls all of them. But they weren't Geralt.


	2. Two

Now the mere confession was out, Jaskier couldn't stop himself from writing about Geralt. He'd become the richest muse and words just flew from his fingertips.

_You are full of many riches that I wish you would share with me. I long to run my fingers through your locks of silver and waste all day staring in those eyes of gold. Please, share some wealth with me._

Jaskier submitted the post, no one had spoken a word about his previous posts so he felt he was safe now. There was less hesitance.

Priscilla had the sense at least to only mention them to him in private. Now he had to finish packing now his daily poetic pining was over. He allowed himself that, without it he felt close to screaming.

The senior class residency trip was tomorrow, one month abroad. They changed it up every year where they were going and this year seemed to be Aedirn. Jaskier had been looking forward to it all year, freedom from his and Priscilla's overly protective parents to do whatever they wanted outside of classes.

He'd discussed at length with Geralt responding in grunts and hums of agreement what they could get up to together. Perhaps he'd meet someone who made him realise his crush on Geralt was just that. But that was misguided hope.

"Are you almost ready, dad said to tell you he's dropping us off in an hour." Priscilla piped up from the doorway then her blue eyes cast to Jaskier's half packed bags.

"Gods Jask! We're there a month how many outfits do you need?!"

He shot her a look before resting a hand to his hip. "And how many bags are you taking?" Jaskier replied though it wasn't really a question.

Priscilla's expression was enough of a give away and she huffed. "Touche dear brother, touche." She grinned then leaned further on the door frame.  
  


"You should pack the the blue jacket. Geralt likes that one doesn't he?"

"If by likes you mean he was there when I bought it and told me to get it because I was staring at it for thirty minutes and he wanted to go get lunch. Then yes." He replied dryly causing Priscilla to roll her eyes.

"He told you it looked good on you." She reminded him and he narrowed his eyes.

"To persuade me to buy it so we could get lunch, did you not just listen?"

"Oh I frequently tune out what is unnecessary excuses." She laughed softly then tilted her head to one side.

"You know, Aedirn has some real romantic spots..."

"Priss-"

"Like the lake with the willow trees."  
  


"Shut up."

\---

Jaskier actually hadn't recommended the lake. Geralt did. Not for secret kisses like the content of his daydreams that were unfortunately becoming more and more frequent.

But instead there was something of an ecological nature that interested him.

Jaskier let him talk about supposedly different kinds of green plants, they all looked the same to Jaskier but apparently Geralt knew the Latin names, what they had been used for, if they were native or invasive species.

It was actually quite nice to listen to even if it was something he would definitely have slept through were it covered in class.  
  


Willow trees overhung the lake and finally Geralt stopped examining every patch he could find and sat himself next to Jaskier who kept the space between them minimal but deliberate to avoid any accidental brushing.

Geralt was his friend, he should be able to touch him but whenever he did it just made him want the other more. So he would just be content to sit like this and for once he didn't break the silence, the blessed kind he knew his friend enjoyed.

Surprisingly, it was actually Geralt who did just that.  
  


"The old stories of this place say there was meant to be a Djinn in this lake." He didn't look over at Jaskier and instead maintained his focus on the water.  
  


Jaskier smiled softly, clearly intrigued by the prospect. "I think that would be a wonderful idea for a story! I have many things a genie would be very useful for. Could take care of my Valdo problem for starters."

A snort came from Geralt. "You'd get three wishes." He was now looking at Jaskier and Jaskier could feel his face heat.

Gods could he not even look at him now.  
  


"Ah well, I will work on refining them then. Perhaps best to leave the others as a surprise hm?" He smiled nervously and Geralt quirked a brow then smirked.

"So they are all filthy ones." He replied as a statement wrapped question that caused the other to laugh.

"Naturally dear, naturally..." He then adjusted himself to turn more to face the other and looked between Geralt and the lake.

Only some of them were but he couldn't exactly be forthcoming about some of them. So instead Jaskier decided to deflect.

"What would you wish for?" Jaskier asked softly.

Geralt was silent and still for a few moments, then finally he shrugged. "I guess I'd wish for some sleep." He sighed and Jaskier looked at his friend closer; he was always pale - you'd think that Geralt never saw the sun even though that wasn't the case in the slightest.

"Hm, bad dreams again?"  
  


A nod.  
  


"Want to stay in my room tonight. Some company may help. If all else fails I'll knock that textbook over your head. " Jaskier grinned as the other seemed to sniff as a register of interest. Or at least it wasn't outright rejection of the idea.

"I still can't believe - "Jaskier continued voice now turning to a bit of a whine.

"That they expect us to read that thing when there is such beauty out here and fun to be had."

"That's because its a class trip Jask, not a holiday." Geralt reminded him and earned him a pout from the brunet

"Still unfair!" At least this conversation seemed to make Geralt brighten somewhat, Jaskier liked that despite everything his flair for dramatics still could force a smile out of the other. He really did look beautiful when he did.Gods he really was so beautiful. 


	3. Three

_Cruel gifts are your affections. Ones I know you don't truly mean. I suppose I am partially to blame for needing them so. A hug from you is just a hug to you. To me it is a home but also the greatest torture. A wanting for more._

_\---_

"...All I'm saying is I think Rivia needs just that little bit of a push." Priscilla grinned as they waited in line to retrieve their coffee.

Some sibling time wasn't unappreciated but her insistence there was something going on made Jaskier huff in response.   
  
"Are you ever going to let this go?" He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as they sat down with their drinks.  
  
"Hm." She pretended to ponder then shook her head. "Nope, very unlikely. It's my duty as your older sister -" 

"Older by two minutes."   
  
She side eyed him as she poured her sugar into her latte. "As your older and wiser sister, it is my duty to interfere in your life as much as possible."   
  
"I don't think that is in the job description Priss."   
  
"If it isn't it should be." She shrugged reclining back on her seat. "The way I see it is, you should take this opportunity to tell him how you feel. I don't think one of your poems would work though. I think that would go over his head."

"Then what do you recommend." Jaskier was just humoring her now, he wasn't actually going to take anything she said seriously.

She didn't know Geralt like he did. He didn't look at him like that. Though truthfully he'd never known Geralt to look at anyone like that. He just assumed he had very little interest.

"I propose a five step plan, finally ending in a grand gesture before the credits roll." Priscilla schemed.

\---

Geralt joined Jaskier in his room that night, it was late but neither seemed to show any indication of sleeping just yet.   
Instead Jaskier was showing him videos he thought to be amusing on his phone by thrusting them in Geralt's face.   
  
"Hey look this one has a horse in it! You like horses!...Geralt you're not watching!" Jaskier whined and amber eyes flicked to the phone screen.   
  
Geralt was being as stoic as he usually was.   
  
Jaskier's mission as always to make the other smile. "See how she's sucking in her flank? She's in pain." He scowled and Jaskier frowned back at the video before closing it quickly.   
  
Okay maybe not funny videos of funny animals tonight then.   
  
  
"What is going on Geralt, talk to me." He let himself edge closer, propping himself up on his elbow - increasing their proximity was brave and demonstrative of his will power not to kiss the other silly for definite. He should get a medal. A 'you didn't kiss your very straight or whatever he was best friend and ruin everything' medal.   
  
Geralt grunted then shrugged, this happened a lot - things would bother him but he never was quite able to articulate. Jaskier learnt sometimes trying to force it out of him was counter productive, he'd talk when he was ready to.   
  
"Well, I'm here when you want to talk. You know that right?" Jaskier reminded him and got a slow nod in return.   
  
The movement caused silver locks to fall more over the other boy's face and Jaskier's hand twitched wanting to push it back so he could see exactly how the other looked. Instead his fingers grasped a pillow and lightly threw it at Geralt who caught it but not before it already hit him in the face. He looked up to fix his glare on his attacker - "What was that for?"

  
  
"No sulking allowed in Chez Jaskier and your hair was hiding that pretty face." It wasn't really a flirt, Jaskier said such things to him all the time. Geralt clearly didn't see it as such as he merely rolled his eyes at the other.   
  
"You're terrible." He sighed but threw the pillow back making Jaskier laugh and him smile.   
  
"I am! But you love me anyway!" That came out before he even meant it to. The pillow still ended up in the other's direction once more though.   
  
"You're fine, I guess." Geralt grunted, grin widening now, just holding onto the pillow signifying the game was over.   
  
"Your excessive use of flattery is going to make me blush Geralt." Jaskier rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the fact his cheeks did feel especially warm at the other grinning and his stomach twisted.

  
  
"I take it back, you're just ridiculous." Geralt quipped back before settling himself into bed further.   
  
"I could be more ridiculous. Why aren't Koala's considered bears?" "Because they're marsupials." Geralt responded, his eyes now closed.   
  
"No! Because they - Oh never mind. Remind me never to try and make a joke to a to be zoology major ever again."   
  
"Only if you remind me that sharing a room with you is never productive to sleep. You keep talking."   
  
"But I like talking with you!"   
  
"I can always stop talking." Geralt shrugged.   
Jaskier scoffed at that. "Since when has that ever stopped me? I think you will find I have been maintaining both sides of our conversations quite successfully for years now!"  
  
A grunt came from the otherside of the bed. "You are good at that."  
  
"How about a compromise? I don't want to sleep just yet! But I'll be quiet if we put a movie on." Jaskier proposed. He'd even sit through one of Geralt's preferred nature documentaries if it kept that smile on his face.  
  
"..Fine."

  
  
Jaskier set up the laptop on his lap and they settled down to watch, this was just another thing they had done countless times before.  
  
But it felt more difficult now.   
  
Barely twenty minutes into the movie Jaskier felt a weight on his shoulder. Geralt was resting against him, breath slow, eyes closed.   
  
"Fuck." Jaskier murmured almost silently as his heart melted more, this really wasn't fair. He should gently guide the other boy away from him. Despite all the times they shared a bed, they generally kept to their own sides.   
  
This was new and almost definitely not intentional on Geralt's part. Selfishly though he wanted to make the most of it. Instead of rolling Geralt off him, he held him closer and then slid his body further down onto the mattress until he was comfortable. Sleep followed him soon after.

  
  
_Cruel gifts are your affections. Not because they are unwanted. Dear Heart no. They simply offer glimpses of what could be. What would never be. I'm weak from wanting._


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier's hubris gets the better of him

By the time Jaskier woke up, Geralt had turned away from him. He cast a silent prayer that was achieved in the other's sleep and not as a reaction to laying so close to him. Would Geralt even bring it up though? He didn't vocalize when he was uncomfortable very often. Gods was that what he was doing in his less than subtle feelings? 

Staying in bed seemed intuitive only to spiraling, words couldn't just dance around his mind like this. He needed to gather them and write them down. Slow in his movements to not wake Geralt, he retrieved his laptop and sunk to the floor, back pressed against the wall and laptop resting on his knees. 

_I pray for your ignorance, so you don't know how much a fool I am. This pining aches but at least my foolish heart can hold hope. Confirmation might be the death of me._

Jaskier scowled at that, far too dramatic for first thing in the morning but it got it out of him at the very least. He saved it as a draft in hope he could maybe tweak it into something more salvageable later. 

He shut his laptop with a sigh and cast one last look over at Geralt surprisingly still sleeping and so beautifully peaceful it near made the young poet weep. Finally he retrieved his wash things from his bag and retreated to the en suite.   
  


Geralt was awake when he'd finished, not a word was said about how they ended up sleeping. The worry spiked up again that Geralt was just hiding his disgust at it but he shoved it back down again. At least the days activities left them more things to talk about.   
  
\---

They both liked museums for different reasons but growing up Jaskier's mother had let his quiet friend come along for the educational day trips out. He was always far more well behaved than her own twins were. Priscilla and Jaskier were loud and rambunctious yet enthusiastic about the art whilst Geralt quietly appreciated old skeletons and imaginings of what the creatures would have looked like.   
  


He mulled over those at the museum the class had been taken to, golden eyes transfixed and Jaskier savored that less than neutral expression on Geralt's face. Still stoic as it was but there was the fire of interest. He nudged him lightly in the side.   
"Oren for your thoughts. I know you have some comments." He grinned.   
  


The white haired boy hummed then caught some text that caused his eyebrows to knit as he reabsorbed himself. "Fascinating Geralt please to tell me more." Jaskier rolled his eyes still smiling fondly.   
  


\--  
  
Lunch was a great relief to sit after traipsing around a museum that may have been an entire town. Jaskier was definitely exaggerating but gods his feet ached.   
Though the options on the menu left not much to be desired, Geralt seemed to demolish whatever was put in front of him at all times. Jaskier was a bit more finicky. 

But they were encouraged to try it all, not to be disrespectful and for their learning. 

"Too good for your tastes Julian?" An upturned nosed monster sneered and made Jaskier's blood boil. Was it a bit childish to consider someone the same age as him, his mortal enemy? No. It seemed completely valid.   
"At least I have some Valdo. I don't think the same can be said for you." He scowled back, puffing up in the way that only Valdo seemed to get out of them. 

They descended into bickering as usual and some students moved down the tables lest something was thrown. It wouldn't have been the first time.   
"Fine, first to finish that dish wins." Valdo gestured to the plate that no one had yet touched. 

"You're on!" Jaskier declared back and piled the dish into his mouth with just a few forkfuls.   
He felt sick and with another glare ran off to find the bathroom departing from the villain's roaring victory laughter. 

Jaskier was seething as he retched, tears welling up in his eyes and throat tight. No tighter than it should have been from strangled sobs. Fuck. He left his bag in the dining hall. He gripped a railing tighter trying his best to breathe through the panic and throat closing until he felt a hand on his shoulder causing him to jump.   
_"G-lt"_ He rasped and the other boy clear with concern guided him into the disabled bathroom locking the door.   
  


"Dumbass." Geralt grumbled under his breath pulling something from his bag. "Take your shorts off."   
  
  
Were this not the situation there were in, Jaskier was certain this was a fever dream. He still giggled weakly causing the other to groan.   
"Jaskier.." He prompted again and finally Jaskier did as he was asked. Only to be rewarded by a stab to his thigh. He screeched quietly and irritably.   
  
  
"Baby." The other rolled his eyes, Jaskier's allergies weren't new - he'd had bad reactions to things since Geralt knew him but with his carelessness of checking ingredients on things it was a wonder he hadn't gotten himself in this situation more.   
  


Geralt figured they'd need to ditch the rest of the day, get Jaskier to the hospital to be checked over without the teachers discovering. Jaskier wouldn't let him hear the the end of it if he got sent home from the trip early. They were adults technically, they could sort this out.   
Jaskier had redressed and Geralt yanked him by the arm to the courtyard outside.   
  


"He looks in rough shape." Someone commented, a girl with raven black hair and cold violet eyes. Geralt side eyed her still trying to herd the whining poet.   
  
"He needs the hospital. But he'll be fine." Geralt grumbled only now realising they had no means to get there.   
  
"Let me take you both." The girl offered with a saccarine smile stubbing out a cigarette. "You're in the exchange group, right? I'm Yennefer." 

"We can make it." Geralt insisted, no need to involve anyone else, Jaskier was his responsibility right now.   
  
"Oh I'm sure you can. Just two streets down that way and then on the left yeah?" She grinned.   
  
"Mhmm."   
  
"Yes good, if you were planning to take him to the vets to put him down you'd be in the right place. You clearly don't know your way around. Let me take you." She asserted more firmly now and Geralt reluctantly agreed. 

\---

Jaskier had somehow fallen asleep in the car journey to the hospital, he awoke later head pounding to laughter. A girl's and an amused hum from a voice he knew well. A hand playfully resting on his best friend's knee. 

  
This could not be happening.


	5. 5

Jaskier decided he hated Yennefer. She didn't seem all that fond of him either at least. But it wasn't fair. Geralt had never expressed any interest in girls or boys before. (The latter, he reminded himself of constantly). He wined internally that this was the universe punishing him, were it not for his own hubris and disregard for his allergies had been what had driven them together. It was his fault. 

Geralt even with his biting single word answers to him, he knew he had been concerned. He'd held him, keeping him steady as he panicked.   
Then whilst he slept it off, the dark haired witch must have sunk her claws in. 

Now she sat with them, Geralt never entertained more than Jaskier's company when they ate before. Now he might as well not even be there. Yennefer coolly ignored him and Geralt seemed to struggle to focus on a word Jaskier had to say.   
  


_"She's a Witch. A Succubus! She must be!" Jaskier whined and Priscilla patted him on the shoulder. "Rivia is a strange one but he's also just a dude too. He'll get bored." She shrugged._  
 _But Geralt didn't seem to show any sign of waning interest. Yennefer could put her hands on him - kiss him the way Jaskier wished he could. The way Geralt looked at her. It was too much._   
  


Jaskier finally gave up, his departure not even seeming noticed as he went to sit with Priscilla and her friends. She raised a surprised eyebrow then glanced over in the direction of where her brother had come. Priscilla gently wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Oh Jask." She murmured soothingly, guilt plaguing her for getting his hopes up. 

Endless apologies and trash talking was what a good sibling did in this situation right? But Jaskier didn't want to hear any of it. Geralt was still his friend. Even if it hurt to be right now. 

Jaskier hadn't written a word. Pining was so much easier than heartbreak. Putting that pain into words felt impossible. But still he tried but the words would slip away before he could. 

Geralt spent more time with Yennefer but had now noted that Jaskier seemed to be avoiding him. Usually he couldn't get rid of the young Poet. Not that he ever wished to.   
He went to approach the twins but Jaskier seemed to scarper before he even reached them, Priscilla simply nodded and went to follow. "Priscilla wait." He spoke halting her retreat. 

"Priscilla is Jask okay?"   
Priscilla looked at Geralt surprised he was even talking to her, apparently they both seemed surprised by this but Geralt didn't know what else to do.   
Words sat on the tip of her tongue as blue eyes met golden - there was so much she wanted to say.   
  


_'of course not - you're torturing him - got his hopes up then abandoned him for someone else.'  
_  
  
But that wasn't really fair either. She could be mad at Geralt for breaking her brother's heart. But it didn't come from a malicious place. This conversation proved he very much still cared.  


So instead she shrugged. It wasn't her business to say any of those things or reveal Jaskier's cards. "He will be." She replied then bade him goodbye to find Jaskier and her friends again. 

\--  
  
_"Hey sleepy head." Jaskier greeted as he emerged from the shower now dressed, Geralt still rested comfortably in his bed. A groan came from the other but he smiled. Oh that smile._

_\---_

_He had imagined his trousers around his ankles with Geralt looming over him more times than he would have admitted. Though in the grips of an allergic reaction and in a disabled bathroom no less wasn't part of the fantasy. He let out a few strangled sobs following the other's scoldings and Geralt wrapped an arm around him._

_"I've got you Jask."_  
 _"Wher- di you?" He murmured glancing at the Epipen, Geralt had now discarded._  
 _"I keep one with me. For when you dumbass shit like this." He admitted plainly and Jaskier wanted to sob more._  
 _"Am I going to die?"_  
 _"You know you're not. Not about to let you either. What would I do without you?" Geralt sighed pulling him tighter. He wished the other was more careful._  
\--  
Jaskier downed another row of shots, pulling a face at them. When was the stage of drunk where he could no longer feel it burning? He hadn't reached it yet but he could barely stand.   
  
Cornflower blues tried to avoid seeing but found the white haired boy in an instant across the bar. He stumbled only for his arm to be caught by another.   
  
  
Priscilla grasped him tightly guiding him over to where her and her friends had been. He was far too much of a mess to be left alone and she had definitely lost track of how much alcohol had passed his lips.   
  


She did however glance in the direction of her brother's gaze. Yennefer and Geralt again. Of course. They looked very cosy in the booth together - faces close, her laughing and Geralt enthralled on everything she said.   
  


Jaskier leaned heavily on her and took one look back at the couple before turning pale.   
Priscilla tugged on him again. "Come on Jask, lets -"   
  


She was promptly cut off by Jaskier vomiting all over the floor. It did seem to get Geralt's attention as he looked over about to rise before Yennefer guided his face back and kissed him. 

  
"Come on home time drunkie." Priscilla murmured soothingly, brushing his hair back from his forehead, damp with sweat.   
"Everything will seem a little better in the morning I promise." 

  
Outside the cool air was a little sobering but did alert Jaskier to quite how much of a mess he was. He sobbed as his sister held him and tried to book a taxi with one hand. 

  
"Jaskier." A voice called and caused the young poet to look up.   
"Geralt." Priscilla narrowed her eyes, keeping a grip on her brother protectively. "Not now." She hissed, let him get some sleep.  
  


"Please can we talk. I know you've been avoiding me." The white haired other continued on and Jaskier pulled free of his sisters grip with a stubborn nod that she knew she shouldn't argue with. Jaskier stumbled towards Geralt.   
  


"Avoiding you huh? I see it more as fulfilling your wish." Jaskier replied cold stunning the other, uncertain of his meaning.   
"You have barely spoken a word to me in weeks Geralt. Even when I am right there...you don't even register I am there. Not when - shes...." He trailed off jaw tightening.   
"I have but one thing to ask Geralt then I'm going home." Jaskier sighed.   
  


Geralt waited, a small nod to let the other continue.   
  


"Have I ever been someone important to you Geralt? Or just someone as a standby until someone better came along?" Jaskier asked bitterly and Geralt scowled.   
  
"You think I'd treat people like that? After...what had happened to me?"   
  
The young poet shrugged, still seething and Geralt perhaps under the influence of too much drink also growled back.   
  
"You have no room to talk on that. How many hearts have you broken Jask? You're allergic to commitment - a bomb to monogamy."   
  


"That's bullshit." Jaskier snarled, this had been the first time Jaskier had heard Geralt didn't like the way he dated, he approached everything full on and admittedly it was in part a distraction. If he threw himself into a fleeting fancy, maybe one would stick and he wouldn't hurt so much anymore.   
  


"Someone is only ever enough until you stumble on another but then you're never satisfied." Geralt continued and Jaskier's blood boiled.

"Because no one is you!" He screamed in frustration. "People may fall in love with me, but guess what. I can't fall in love back because of you! I love you Geralt! Always have."

That promptly shut the other up for a moment then his expression darkened.   
"You think you're funny?" He scowled. "Stop playing with people Jaskier. I've heard you declare such devotion. But it never lasts." Jaskier meant far too much to him to be a passing plaything of his best friend. He'd tire as he did all the others, he was certain. 

"Oh fuck you Geralt!" Jaskier snapped back then turned on his heels. Everything around him breaking and rejoined Priscilla's side who promptly pulled him into the waiting taxi and held him as he cried. He had told Geralt the truth finally but not in the way he wanted and the response was clear. Geralt was disgusted by it. 

Disgusted by him. 


End file.
